


Love Is Overrated

by LouisaPeters



Series: Prompts [11]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing, Cute Kids, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Poe Dameron as a kid, Post-War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-02 02:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19189843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouisaPeters/pseuds/LouisaPeters
Summary: After the war, Cassian wants to start a family. Jyn does not and when she's left alone with Poe Dameron for the weekend, she starts to wonder why.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twentycupsoftea](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=twentycupsoftea).



> Hello, friends. I am back. School is finally out for the Summer so I can write more. I haven't forgotten about my other stories, but this one came into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. Prompt was "love is overrated" and "why are you whispering"

Jyn Erso was glad Shara Bey and Kes Dameron survived the attack on Echo Base. She thanked the force every time they came back from a mission and she was overjoyed that they survived the war. She wished she could say it was all because they were friends, which they were and that was part of it, but Jyn would be lying if she said it was only because they were friends. A solid half of it was because Cassian didn’t let her say no to Shara and Kes when they asked them to be godparents. 

Jyn told Cassian a hundred times that it was a pity offer. She told him a thousand times it was a bad idea and about ten thousand times she didn’t want to do it, but Cassian agreed wholeheartedly and told Shara and Kes that she did too, which she did not, but she couldn’t tell them that when she smiled tearfully and thanked her for it. 

“You’re an idiot,” she had snapped at him and slammed the door to their quarters. “A kriffing idiot and I can’t believe you just did that even after I told you not too.” Cassian scoffed and rolled his eyes taking off his jacket. 

“What was I going to say? No?” Jyn nodded. 

“Well, that was what I was going to say before you kriffed everything up, nerf herder!” She hissed and pulled off her boots. Cassian sat down on the bed and leaned against the wall. Jyn undid her hair, contemplating whether she could sleep on the training room floor again. Cassian fell asleep fast all she needed to do wait wait ten minutes and then get up. 

“Jyn,” Cassian said softly. “You’re scared, I know, but listen to me. You’d be a fantastic mother and-”

“Cassian, we’re done with this conversation.” She slammed her jacket down on the empty desk. She could feel her breath starting to come in short huffs. 

“We can’t be done with a conversation we haven’t even started. Would you let me say something?” He leaned forward on the bed and Jyn turned around, eyes dark and shoulders squared.

“No. Not tonight. I need to sleep. I have an early day tomorrow.” She pulled her shirt off and walked over to the bed. Cassian rolled his eyes. 

“You can’t have an early day without a job,” he bit back and pushed the covers back. “You need something, Jyn. Some tie to the community. Now that the war is over, we-”

“Now that the war is over we don’t have a place here, Cassian! How long is it going to take you to see that? Having a kid won’t change that.” She snatched her pillow from the bed and Cassian reached out to try to grab it, but Jyn wrenched it away. “Besides, why do we need one?” Cassian blanched and Jyn ignored the face he was making. 

“Why? Jyn, because being a parent is beautiful. Es increíble todos los días! You’re making another human being! You’re all they have and they look to you for everything and you are in charge of making sure they’re a good person and-” Jyn let go of the pillow. She took a few steps from the bed and to the door. 

“And you don’t see a problem with what you just said, Cassian?” She whispered softer than she had in days. Cassian frowned. He stood up from the bed. 

“Jyn, what is it? Talk to me.”

“You think I’ll be able to show someone how to be a good person? Cassian, I barely know myself.” Cassian stopped and he sighed. He rose up from the bed. Jyn let him get close enough to brush a lock of hair from her face. She flinched slightly, though. 

“Jyn, you’re wonderful. I know it and so does everyone here. A child would love you and we’d be lucky if they turned out half the person you-” Jyn turned around to the door and wrenched herself out of Cassian’s gentle grip. She Shook her head. It had been years since she’d hid her tears from him, but old habits die hard and Jyn couldn’t bare to see the look in his face anymore. 

“Shut up, Cassian. You have no idea what you’re talking about and if you think this is a good idea, you don’t know me like I thought you did.” 

The training room had hard floors, and when she was done punching bag, nonstop for at least ten minutes, she collapsed onto it and cried.


	2. Chapter 2

Jyn always wrapped her hands when she trained. It was one of her favorite parts of the session. There was adrenalin at the start of a sparring match that was unparalleled with anything else she’d ever felt, even a real fight didn’t have the same jolt, the same raw competitive urge, the same heart pounding electricity of the few minutes before she started sparring when there was still an unknown. She didn’t need to plan and she didn’t need to think and she didn’t need to be sharp right before a fight, all she needed to be was numb and calm and focus on the monotony of wrapping her hands. It was peaceful, the calm before a storm of flying fists and a flurry of sweat. 

It was when she was wrapping her hands getting ready for another round of punching the heavy rag filled bag that Jyn heard the door creak open. She snapped around to face the door and when she saw Poe Dameron there, her heart sputtered and stopped. This was her space. She could be herself in the training room. She could be angry and hurt and scared and alone and she could cry and yell and scream and no one would know. Poe Dameron standing in the door, shifting uncomfortably, felt like an invasion of her space, an intruder on her home. Her chest clenched and so did her fists. She grabbed onto the swinging bag and stopped it’s motion. The door shut with a loud slam and Poe took a few steps in. 

“What do you want?” Jyn tried to keep her voice level but it came out high pitched and seemed to get lost in the room. Poe didn’t move from his spot by the door and so Jyn turned back to the punching bag and grabbed the second set of hand wraps. She carefully started on her left hand. Poe took a few steps forward. Jyn felt her chest clamp up again and she wondered why she could go toe to toe with people three feet taller than her but the prospect of Poe Dameron sent her head spinning and her stomach tossing.

“Can I watch you?” Poe asked. Jyn didn’t look back over at him. 

“No,” she snapped. Poe took another few steps forward. Jyn finished wrapping her hand and turned back to Poe. “If Cassian put you up to this, you can leave now and tell him if he thinks this changes anything, he’s an idiot.” Jyn took a swing at the bag and felt some of the electricity coursing through her die down. Poe shook his head. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” He looked up at the ceiling and took a few more steps into the training room. Jyn stopped punching the bag and turned back to Poe. His brown eyes were wide and big and he froze when Jyn looked at him. 

“No,” she said and crossed her arms. 

“I’m going to anyways,” Poe shrugged and slowly walked over to the bench by Jyn’s punching bag. He sat down and crossed his legs, leaning forward. “Cassian doesn’t know I’m here, I ran away.” That stopped Jyn. She froze mid punch and turned to look at Poe. 

“Why did you do that?” She asked and Poe opened his mouth to answer but Jyn cut him off. “You know, I don’t care. You’re probably worrying him and I’m busy right now. Go away. I’ll comm him and tell him you’re here.” She took a few steps to her training bag where she kept her comm but Poe gasped. Jyn stopped in her tracks and winced in annoyance. 

“Please don’t call Cassian!” Poe sounded scared. Jyn stopped. She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms again and cocked her hip to the side. 

“Why not?” Poe didn’t look at her. He kept his eyes downcast and fidgeted around. Jyn narrowed her own eyes. He was blushing. “You’re a terrible liar,” Jyn commented and turned back to the bag. Poe shrugged. 

“Tio Cassian thinks I’m taking a nap.” Poe kicked the ground. Jyn barked a laugh and threw a punch at the bag to hide it. 

“He doesn’t know you’re even out of your room?” Jyn asked and three another set of punches. Poe shook his head. Jyn sighed. 

“He’ll be worried, you should go back.” Poe shook his head and stood up from the bench. Jyn stared him down. 

“I wanted to see you, Tia Jyn.”

“Don’t call me that, we’re not related.” She turned back to the punching bag, chest tight again. She wasn’t related to anyone. Her family was dead. Lyra had been shot by her own passion, Galen was burned by his own passivity, and Saw exploded to smithereens with his obsession. Jyn stayed alive through the war because she had none of that. 

“We’re kind of related. My mom and dad say that you’re family.”

“Your mom and dad feel bad for me because I got the short end of the stick here and now the war is over I don’t do anything.” Jyn landed a few more punches and refused to look at Poe. She could see him out of the corner of her eyes though. He was standing in front of the bench, rocking back and forth and biting his lip.

“You do this-” Poe stopped himself. “What should I call you if I can’t call you Tia?” He asked. 

“Jyn. Just call me Jyn.” She kicked the bag and shrugged. Poe nodded.

“You do this, Jyn.” 

“What?”

“Hit things in here.”

“Yeah but-” Jyn huffed her annoyance and threw a few more punches. “That doesn’t count. Not now that the wars over. ” Another three punches and this time, when she landed them, they were hard and fast and would have been deadly. She didn’t like talking about the war being over. Poe shrugged again and kicked the padded floor. 

“I don’t know, I think it’s still cool.” He didn’t make eye contact, but he didn’t take his eyes off her striking form. “You beat people up really bad if you needed to I bet.” He said. Jyn didn’t falter. Maybe if she just ignored him he’d tire of watching her and leave. She didn’t like being watched and she didn’t like Poe Dameron. Half of her wanted to grab her comm and call Cassian to come get him, but she didn’t want to talk to him right now and she didn’t want to fight. “You’re really brave. You’re a hero, I think.” That stopped her and she threw a punch just past the bag, overswinging and falling. Jyn grunted and pushed herself up to look at Poe. She blinked a few times. Exhaustion hit her like a wave and suddenly all the adrenaline that she felt from the fight with Cassian die down to a simmer and she stopped punching and turned to Poe. 

“Don’t you ever say that to me again. Do you understand?” She didn’t snap or hiss or bit it, she kept her voice cool and level and then turned back to the punching bag. Poe took a few steps forward. 

“I won’t say sorry for that. Mama and daddy say you’re a hero all the time.” Jyn rolled her eyes. She tore off the hand wraps and walked over to where she had dropped her canteen. The water was cold on her tongue and she closed her eyes. Poe was silent and Jyn put the canteen down to look at him. 

“Your mother and father are good people and I care very much about them.” Jyn didn’t think it was close to what Poe wanted to hear and to be honest, she didn’t know what he wanted. She knew what she wanted through, she wanted Cassian. She wanted Cassian, who always knew what to say, who could smile at Poe and laugh and make up games and give good advice. Jyn rolled her shoulders out and exhaled. She didn’t have Cassian right now though, all she had was herself and she could do that too. 

“You’re the bravest person base, even if you’re not a hero, though.” Poe bounced again and Jyn shook her head but she felt the electricity leave her just as quick as it surged through her and it left her feeling hollow and empty and dead and she opened her eyes. 

“Stop, Poe,” she shook her head. “Just stop.” She felt sick. Sick and helpless and alone and she wanted Cassian.

“I mean that punching bag is dead. It would even be deader if it were a real living person.” Poe took another few steps to her. He was standing across from the bag and next to her and Jyn could barely breathe. “I want you to teach me.” At that, Jyn’s head snapped down. She looked him in the eyes for the first time since he walked into the training room. She frowned. 

“To fight?”

“To punch people really hard.”

“So to spar?” Her head cocked to the side and put her hands on her hips. Poe nodded. 

“You’re never scared of anything. Teach me.” Jyn shook her head and turned back to the bag. 

“Not a chance. I can’t focus with you here. Ask Cassian.” Another three punches at the bag. Poe was fixated but he tore his eyes away to look back at Jyn. 

“Tio Cassian won’t.” Poe swallowed hard and before Jyn could throw another punch at the bag, Poe grabbed onto it. Jyn skid to a halt. “Tio Cassian said he worked very hard so I never had to learn to fight, but I want to anyways.” His eyes were deadset now and Jyn knew that look. It was a determined look that she’d set on her face every morning when she got up to train with Saw.

It was the same look she had before she could fire a blaster with deadly accuracy or before she could throw a punch or a kick to knock a grown man out. It was an innocent look and a determined one that held the naivety that anything you learned in the training room mattered or prepared you in anyway for what fighting was really like, and Jyn knew that Cassian didn’t want to teach Poe so that he could keep that look. So that he never knew what it was like for skin to crush bone or for his nose to smell blood or to see another person broken and battered. Jyn inhaled.   
Cassian was being naive. No one was saved those sights in the world that they lived in, empire or no empire, there was always going to be war, so Jyn closed her eyes and then snapped them open. She smirked down at Poe. Payback was a bitch and if Cassian wanted to pick fights, she could too. Poe Dameron didn’t need innocence, no one did and the sooner that Cassian realized that she could never keep a child innocent the better. Jyn cracked her knuckles and nodded at the bench. 

“This will make Cassian mad, you know?” Jyn warned, not that she cared. Poe nodded. 

“Mama said you like breaking rules.” 

“Here’s your first lesson,” Jyn said. “Rules don’t matter. There’s extra hand wrap in my training bag. Go get it. We’ll start from the basics.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed! I'll have chapter two up in a few days. Come say hi on Tumblr!


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